(no subject)

(in a small journal)

It's been a banner weekend for me, hasn't it?

First getting the Dark Mark, and now the oh so brillant pleasure of attending the year-end holiday party at the Ministry of Magic. Why Father even wanted to attend I don't really understand--he thinks 95% of the employees idiots and fools. Then again, he's political enough to know that you need the support of others (even idoits) to gain/keep power, and if chatting them up is what get results, then so be it. I had to come because I was to make allies of my own, to faciliate my own inevitable career in the Ministry. My complaince with his command lasted all of a half hour, before I spotted the youngest Weasley standing beneath a bundle of leaves.

Ginny had been dragged along as I had been--neither of us know why. The poor thing feels rather suffocated by the fact that she's expected to bring the next brood of Weasley's into the world. I can't say I blame her.

Curiosity then got to me, so I asked about the decorations--all of her father's doing--and she said it was something called Mistletoe and that you were supposed to kiss.

Why should I turn up a kiss from a willing person, even if she is a Weasley, and a girl. It was nice. We decided to then ditch the party, although we didn't really have many options: face the bitter weather outside, or find a room to hole up in. The room won.

When I first got the room, I didn't really have the intentions of sleeping with her, things just progressed that way. The absolute freedom to pick who I lay with, the ability to get hard without turning furry, the ability to gain release without the permission of another...the opportunity was there, and I seized it, because she was willing. I did nothing against her will. She wanted it. She wanted me. And it was bliss. Although her hand fumbled around my prick, the willing touch of another person, a touch that isn't full of mockery at my state...it was amazing, and I have no regrets for what I have done. Rather, the only thing I regret is that in another day I won't have the ability to make these choices again. I'll again be under the control of another.

It's downright depressing when I think of it, so I'm not going to.

As we recovered, I realized that we needed to get down to the party--we'd been up there far longer then I originally planned. We took a shower together. So far, all was well. My luck ran out when I was getting dressed.

She saw a piece of my Mark.

I tried to deny it, but I finally gave in, when she figured it out for herself.

She says that she still thinks I'm the most "real" person she knows and that she won't tell anyone my secret.

For some reason, I'm inclined to trust her. I'll still watch her though. I must, my own safety and my secret is more important than any feelings, then any personal relations. I know this lesson all too well.

We made it back to the party, and it appears that the idiot, Arthur is none the wiser that his daughter was gone for as long as we were.

I was not so lucky.

My father found me almost right away. I proceeded to get a long lecture as soon as we got home. I was just lucky we came down when we did. A few more minutes and he would have found us in the room. And that would have been a disaster.

I hear Father coming upstairs. I'd better get to bed. Father in an angry mood is just...well yes.

Not a good thing.

Goodnight.
  • Current Music
    Haydn, String Quartet in D Major, Op. 76, No 5
MINE!

(no subject)

*writing in a personal journal*

It's been a long couple of months. I'm home now, for the holidays. Keeping mostly to myself, as has become my regular habit as this year draws to a close. I'm almost sure that I wouldn't know any of my old friends now. I don't think I even know my own brother anymore. I barely even seen Ron these days. I stopped writing to Fred and George, a fact that they were sure to berate me for once I saw them. I don't know. Somehow I just feel so... discontent, with everything. There's a certain peace that comes with being disconnected, thought, and perhaps that's why I keep on as I do.

There was a Christmas party for the Ministry a few days ago, on the 22nd. Father pretty much forced me to go with him. Who knows why. It's not as if he can pretend I'm going to follow in his footsteps, like he could with Ron or something. I was almost certain I was going to be the only employee child there, but I wasn't. Draco was there too. He approached me and we talked for a moment, before he kissed me under the mistletoe (muggle tradition), and then we quietly left the party. He got us a room (the party was being held at a hotel) and we spent more time talking to one another, before it turned into... well. More.

I think about it now, and it's very obvious how the night was going to turn out. I feel a little naive for not suspecting anything until he was kissing me and touching me in places I've never been touched before. Needless to say, he was my first. I'm not stupid, I know I'm not the first girl Draco has taken the virginity of, but I wasn't thinking about that when he was inside of me. It was actually hard to concentrate on much else other than the intense feelings, emotions. Things I'd never felt before. It hurt at first, like sharp, stabbing pains, but then it was... nice. And after nice it was just... amazing. There aren't really words for it. I was lost in him. It was incredible.

Afterwards we hurried to get a shower in and get back down to the party, and that's when I noticed it.

The Dark Mark.

Draco bears the Dark Mark.

After that it was quite uncomfortable and tense between us. I agreed to keep his secret, and I intend to hold to that. I went back down to the party and didn't see him after that. Now I'm just... lost, about everything. I have so many questions and doubts about myself, my choices of late, and what's to become of me. I'm finding that the path I once wanted to follow is now the one I fear the most. Draco Malfoy is supposed to be my enemy and I gave myself to him freely, without thinking twice about it. I ask myself now, would I do it again, knowing who he is, what he is to become, and I do not know if I would answer no.

I think I may just need some more time to think about things, some more time to myself. And, with the holidays, I should have time to do just that.

*closes the journal and puts it in the top drawer of her desk*
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

(no subject)

I'm a Death Eater now.

Father had me get dressed last night in my new robes, and took me to the old Riddle House. I was brought into somekind of sitting room that only held two chairs, a small table, and a fireplace.

He offered me a seat and began to quiz me, about the Ministry. About Dumbledore. About the Dark Arts.

I have to get tutoring in the Dark Arts from Snape, because evidentally my knowledge is lacking. I'll talk to him about it next time I see him.

We talked about the spell Snape placed on me. He graciously modified the spell. I can now get hard without turning into a ferret, but now He holds the key to getting...satisfied. However, I have two days to "rediscover" my sexuality, as he puts it, before I again become an enforced celibate.

::sigh::

Surely there's a better way to teach me self-control?

::sigh::

And then...then there were the two muggles. A ten year old boy, and a young teenage girl, thirteen, maybe fourteen. The final test he gave me.

Avada Kevedra, of course.

There is something decidely eerie about seeing the spell not work...feeling the girl's pulse slowly beat. It was disturbing and unreal. I was almost relieved when she died on the second try, so she was out of whatever limbo I put her in.

It is still not normal. I know the girl is dead, but I'm still waiting for the reality that it was me...it was my wand that made her that way to sink in. I'm not sure if I want it to. It's somehow easier to deal with in this state of unreality.

So...here I am.

A Death Eater.

What now?
  • Current Mood
    numb numb

(no subject)

Dumbledore's death still comes to me as a surprise. The old bat seemed healthy enough that he'd be around for another ten years at the very least.

Father seems quite surprised as well. He tried to get Snape posted into Dumbledore's place, but I suppose the Chamber of Secrets removing Dumbledore bit still stings and he got no where. The Ministry will announce McGongall taking Dumbledore's place tomorrow, and from what I understand, Professor Snape will be promoted to Deputy.

To be honest, I'm relieved that he's not the new Headmaster. Look at what he's getting away with doing now. If he were Headmaster, I can't imagine what he could do to me. Being a ferret is troublesome enough.

In other news, Father says something is going on with Lord Voldemort. Meetings have decreased lately, although they are better planned. I suppose I'll find out for myself soon enough. Solstice is in a week.

In a week I get my Mark.

At this point I'm just numb...accepting my fate. And maybe I'll ask my Father for something he hasn't been willing to get me before. After all, if becoming a Death Eater doesn't make me a man, what will?
  • koanju

(no subject)

Well. I've been here a week, already. It certainly doesn't feel like it's been that long, especially the way classes seem to be running. It's rather nice to be back, I suppose, despite everything.

Too bad the first week is being marred by this. A summons from Dumbledore for a chat.

This will be interesting, to say the least.

ADMIN

Although normally these posts are locked, I've decided to make this one public, because I know that we have some people who watch our humble game and I thought that this might interest them.

As of a short time ago, alymalone has decided to leave the game. This means we need a new Ronald Weasley.

A new Ron would be expected to follow the basic plot set up by Aly. This includes:

-occasional issues due to two months of forgotten memories

-tenuous relationship with Hermione. Ron/Hermione shipper a plus

-bisexual!Ron. Is/was in a relationship with Seamus, but since his player is pretty much on hiatus at the moment, the new person can do as they wish with this plot line.

Although atypical for our game, the new Ron would be required to audition in a short scene with probably Draco & Hermione, just to ensure compatability :)

Reminders--

An LJ and an IM are required to play. Journal/Screen name for the character are not necessary, you may use your personal if you so choose.

This is an adult game. Characters do have sex, if you are underage or this squicks you out, this is not the game for you.

If you have any questions or you are interested in playing Ron please feel free to IM me at Evil Lady Lance or to email me at oshunanat @ livejournal.com

You may (and I would appreciate) crossposting this notice to any relevent places or your own journal; so long as it isn't breaking any list rules. :)

Thanks!
  • Current Mood
    adminy

(*gasp!* He updates!)

Hee, what a couple of weeks. *smirks*

I've gone out on a few dates with Bill. Like him lots. *nod* Never a dull moment with him. But then there's Flint, who I haven't seen for a while. And that rune thing. *blinks* Um.


Students are more behaved than I expected. *shrugs*
  • koanju

(no subject)

*breathes in*

Ah, Hogwarts.

*looks around*

Hasn't changed much, I think. Well, except for Binns. Lucky for me he finally realized that he was dead and moved on.

It's going to be an... interesting year. I'm very much looking forward to this.

So.

It appears that I really am Snape's bitch.

Stupid ink that Potter used. I've tried all the cleaning charms that I know and it stillhasn't come off. I suppose it'll wear off on it's own in a few days. Thank Merlin for the privacy of the Prefect's bathroom. It's bad enough that the school has some idea of what went on, it'd be even worse if they actually saw what Potter did.

At any rate, Snape called me in for a "meeting" about what went on today...bloody thing turned into an interrogation. He tied me to the chair not one minute into me going into his office! I managed to convince him that I hadn't told anyone about our relationship (and really, why would I say something, with everything else that has gone on, I highly doubt that Dumbledork would approve of a teacher/student relationship)...yet he still left me tied up so he could go to some meeting with McGonagall about how Potter's left Gryffindor with no points!

I was left for *hours* in there like that! Do you have any idea how incredibly boring that was? It was so dull and so long that I actually fell asleep!

At any rate, he woke up. Wanted a blow job. I gave him one, of course, because, did I mention that I really am Snape's bitch? The potion he gave me the other day makes it so he is the only person I can excited by and not turn furry. I'm pretty sure that if he doesn't get release then I sure as hell won't either. Although I may not be able to do anything about it, I'm going to do my best to enjoy it--and have a little fun back. I think he rather appreciated the charm I used as I left. Heh.

::sigh::

I really should go do that reading for Potions. Pop quiz and all. Blah
  • Current Music
    Snape's yelp of surprise (in head)

Funny what a mug of butterbeer can do

Apparently, I've got a date with Wood tomorrow. ::chuckles::

I was simply heading back to my chambers to retire for the evening when I bumped into him in the corridor. A mug of butterbeer and a bit of a chat about flying later, he was asking me if I was asking him on a date. I was simply talking about doing some flying, but I was certainly flattered at the idea. So...a date I have. ::shrugs and grins, slipping out of his leather pants and the rest of clothes and sliding between the sheets::

::chuckles again:: A date....
  • Current Mood
    amused amused